CLOUDBURST #6: Kate Malanaphy – ‘Honey’

Kate first linked me this song nearly three years ago – and I’ve scarcely talked with her since then. Curiosity, as it often does, ensnared me in its methodology of recovering the past, momentarily, as a means to recalibrate the present – if, upon hearing this song, then, (I told myself) were I to find a discordant phrase (so to speak) within the participles of its intoxicants, I would with slight glee at the corners of my mouth fall asleep into a resolute firmness of intentionality, and be irrecoverable in my lapsed anxiety.

Not so. What then occurred, as the tongue first rolled off and the timbre of her voice touched on wistful frets of love’s eternality, was a convection of sensation, clumsily arranging itself before my eyes, in the shape of who I was and where, when, how my life happened to me: suddenly I, corporeal and like a ghost smote on the spine of the past, shivered in the vestige of that moment, when, originally, Honey, had first appeared, and then, like a vase overflowing in sugar-water, I had imprinted, unconsciously, the entire weight of the past three years onto this four-minute song.

The song itself is rather somber in its naivety – the lyrics, sweet: ‘I was waiting for you to come around/And now I’ve been so happily unwound/Because your name is synonymous with love/It moves like honey through my teeth.’

Who among us has not once been the inventors of our love’s shimmering visage? When, having caught a smell of lilac on autumn-sunned hair, or felt, briefly, at the paw of a kitten-hand, and upon finding a moment alone, assumed provenance and our place as nauta – busied with a great construction – which later was to be our arbiter of deconstruction (as life and her dreams collide; they must).

What remains for me then is not the song: but the perfection of its form, which allows, in its dainty spacing, for the bloom of individual resurrection. The swoons which arouse effortlessly alongside the main-tracked gusto of the verses hold in them the ache of the lyricism… ‘And I no longer have to hold my tongue/But I have no need to speak.’

Written by Vanya