Good evening. Those among the flap faithful will remember me as the rich and beautiful chairwoman of the true premier flap record label, Air Flap One. That is I, Siriporn. For those, who don’t know me – what can I say?

Those who do know me may be wondering where I have been these past few months – and believe me, I will tell you my story of my fall from my Bangkok Tower once I have arrived at my ultimate destination – my secure location. But now is not the time.

However, I am not here practising journalism to discuss this. Today I want to discuss about the new album, Lucid, from my ace flap signing, M.

M has decided after warming up for a considerable time that the “warm up” is finally over and in doing so has released his debut album – and in doing so, proving his potential as my trillion baht signing.

The album is very impressive. Though I have only listened a few times, as it was sent to me via specially trained homing pigeons that never crash into green pipes or hover less than a meter over ground (symbolic of Jah) – communication is slow, hence the delay between its arrival and my follow-up.

I can also confirm that 100 Geks, the notorious flap plagiarists I have sadly come to learn about, are completely emasculated, talentless, betas upon listening to this who have probably not come up with an original idea during the course of their lifespans.

Of the music on offer here: “Madonna” is the one track in particular that could quickly redefine the meaning of harmonious, vibrational energy transmitted over the airwaves into one’s ears. M’s collaborator here, Fenix, is another of my high level talents that will pay off dividends in this cultural movement.

I think you should all listen to it, as there is no excuse for hating flap these days. I will be regularly writing my journal for Dream Catalogue’s new site, so there is also no excuse for you not to be worshipping me on a daily basis.